Do you know the biggest reasons kids fail at anything?
They almost always fail because of lack of confidence. Lack of confidence creates doubt. Doubt creates poor decision making. Poor decision making leads to taking inappropriate or no action. Wrong action leads to more self-doubt. It’s a perpetual cycle that creates nothing but heartache and disappointment.
Once kids grow up, any area they lacked confidence as a kids magnifies as an adult. Once we’re an adult there is more at stake if we make a mistake. In turn, we procrastinate more and avoid potentially “big wins” because we don’t want to look bad in front of our peers and family if we lose.
Confidence is the key to greatness.
Think of all your great achievements throughout your life. Learning to ride a bike, getting your driver’s license, getting your first “real” job, getting your first raise, getting married, having kids, etc. At every one of these moments we were a little uncertain about the outcome, but we were confident that it was going to happen the way we wanted.
Confidence is like a weighted wheel. It takes a little bit to get it going, but once it’s going it’s hard to stop its momentum. And super-achievers keep adding to the momentum by doing things that help them be more confident.
Building your kid’s confidence is all about baby steps.
We don’t think of babies as being confident, but they are. They have a determination (and bull-headedness) that drives them. They don’t come out of the womb walking, but within a few short months they are. They are constantly exploring. And that is key #1- remind your child to be an explorer. Unfortunately, today’s school systems are very restrictive for a child’s natural free-thinking development. In turn, kids doubt themselves and their abilities because they aren’t doing something the “right” way (as if it’s the only way).
When working with your child on school work, or any project for that matter, ask them ALL the different ways they could complete the project. Then, have them think about the “baby” steps that will help them complete the task. And that is key #2- little steps. Little successes build big confidence.
The power of karate is its ability to build confidence in baby steps.
The whole goal of a karate program is helping kids have little wins every day. By giving students small challenges that they overcome within a class, the child’s confidence begins to build. As time goes on you have a child with a lot of little wins. And a lot of little wins turns into one very confident child.